emptyparkinglot2am:

I would sit in a parking lot with you at 2am

(Source: holmyhan, via stability)

skizzimi:

razzledazzy:

MOM HANDED ME A BIG ENVELOPE SAYING I GOT IT IN THE MAIL AND BEING A SMART ASS I SAID ‘WHAT IS IT FROM THE PRESIDENT’ AND IT’S FROM THE FUCKING WHITE HOUSE

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APPARENTLY THEY SENT THIS BACK BECAUSE I WAS A SHIT AND INVITED THEM TO MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION

you invited the president to your high school graduation

(Source: peterjasonquills, via simplyalyxo)

bombing:

attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon

(via forgave)

evilfeminist:

 I’m a huge supporter of things which annoy misogynistic rich white men

(via stay-ocean-minded)

gameofchrons:

is this what having a penis is like 

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(Source: hanukkahlewinsky, via paprika)